What Lingers Here
by Aezara
Summary: *Completed* The tragedy of what might never be...? HG/SS
1. What Lingers Here: Part One

**Author's Notes:**

This story is based on a dream I had...in which I was the "she". However, in keeping with the spirit of fanfic, I changed myself to Hermione, since she is the only character I could ever possibly allow to be with my beautiful Severus. A note...in reading the story, you will have to accept as true a couple of things that aren't. Mainly that Hermione is in Snape's House. Also, the referred to third party--whom shall remain nameless *wink wink*--actually left after book two. But since he was the "substitute" in my dream, he's still around at this much later date. Finally, this was originally intended to be a single-part story, but as you can see, it multiplied. This is the final version...enjoy! :) 

**Disclaimer:**

This part of the story doesn't actually refer to the characters by name, but I'll tack on a disclaimer anyway, just to be safe. They ain't mine! Severus Snape and Hermione Granger are the products of the brilliant mind of J.K. Rowling. 

**Archiving:**

Please do not archive this story anywhere else without asking me first. You are welcome to link to it at ff.net. **What Lingers Here**  
***Part One***  
**By Aezara**

He moved so...deliberately. Slow, measured, with an almost feline grace. He made it impossible to look away, even had she wanted to. There was no other way to describe it: he was beautiful. 

_Like a hawk in flight,_ she thought. And it was a good analogy, really. Predatory, but with an unexpected gentleness. And unreachable. He was as impossible to catch as a wild bird. All she could do was watch him through the binoculars of her heart. Watch, and wish. 

She had been watching him for close to five years now. Five years...it seemed like fifty when one was forced to do nothing **but** watch. Her longing for him had grown almost painful. And now...now she knew that it was more. The last time she had been alone with him, she had almost said it. Almost...but still, a bit too close for comfort. 

It was easy to find ways to be alone with him. Teacher, advisor; in every way he was someone that she could go to legitimately with nearly any problem. Except that her reasons were rarely legitimate. And she never told him her **real** problem. She had never, could never, tell him that she was in love with him. 

Silence can wear on the heart, though, and she supposed she had become a bit depressed. _But none of that matters. Not anymore,_ she told herself. In just a few months she would be leaving, and she could begin to put the pieces of her life back together. Without him around, there would be nothing to love. _Right? Damn, I hope so._

But for now, here he was in front of her, waiting for her to speak. _God, he's incredible._ She shook her head slightly to clear it, trying to remember why she was here in his office this time. _Oh yeah...this time I really **do** have a reason._

"Sir, you asked me to keep an eye on things while you were gone. Er...do you want to know what's been going on?" 

He gazed at her levelly, measuring, as always, each word he spoke. "I think I have a reasonable idea. However, I am curious...you seem a bit ill at ease. Has something occurred that I am unaware of?" 

She bit her lip, not quite knowing how to respond. She was, after all, talking about one of his colleagues. "Well...I don't want to sound disrespectful, but..." 

He chuckled, catching her by surprise. "If it concerns my temporary replacement as Head of House, you need not worry about disrespect. At the risk of being accused of speaking ill of my...contemporaries, I hardly expect that things ran smoothly under his advisement." 

She smiled, unable to hide a small sigh of relief. "No, sir, they did not. It was...well, to be perfectly honest, it was a disaster. I think I was the only one who managed to stay in my room after curfew..." She stopped, realizing how self-serving those words might sound. After a short pause in which she tried to collect her thoughts, she continued. "There were at least two parties that I am aware of, and I am fairly certain that people weren't just drinking punch." She stopped again, realizing for the first time why the term "teacher's pet" had haunted her for seven years. "I'm sorry, sir. I don't mean to imply that I was the only one who didn't break the rules...I'm sure there were quite a few others as well...I just..." She gave up. 

He shook his head. "I understand perfectly. You simply want me to know that my substitute was either unaware of these trespasses or chose to look the other way?" She nodded. "I assumed as much. And as for your other concern...no, I do not see you as a student who is kissing up to the teacher." He smiled at the look of surprise on her face. "My dear, you wear your thoughts in your eyes." 

Her heart started to pound. If that was true...if he really could tell what she was thinking..._Oh god..._

Unconsciously, she reached out and touched him gently on the hand. "I...we have really missed you these last few weeks." 

He looked down, taking in the sight of her hand on his own, and then raised his eyes to her face. Her stomach turned as she saw a look of comprehension pass through his eyes. She withdrew her hand quickly and stood, preparing to make a rapid retreat. As she turned to the door, ready to run, she felt his hand rest softly on her arm. 

"Wait..." He whispered. "Tell me." 

She was afraid to turn, afraid to move, terrified of what she would see in his face if she looked at him. But she did, and all she saw was wonder. _It's too late now...I can't get out of this. God, how did I screw this up so badly?_

He laid his hand gently on her cheek, and said again, "Tell me." 

She stared at him, petrified. Her brain seemed frozen, refusing to allow a single phrase to pass her lips. She tried to think of something, anything, that could possibly get her off the hook, but nothing came. Finally, her mouth opened against her will, and she heard herself whisper, as if from a distance, "I love you." 

Shock hit her like cold water, and her skin went all over gooseflesh. She turned, wanting nothing more than to get away, get out of this room, get away from the feeling that her heart was breaking inside her chest. But he stopped her again with a touch on the arm, turning her back towards him as he did so. 

He brushed her hair back from her face, and looked at her for a long moment. She found that she couldn't move, couldn't even breathe. Her mind still like ice, it took her several seconds to realize that he was lifting her face towards his. 

Their lips met, and she suddenly felt alive again. A warmth she had never before known spread slowly through her body. His arms went around her, and she felt as though she was melting into him. All that mattered in the world was this moment, this kiss. 

She vaguely became aware of a sound, soft but persistent, and growing louder. She tried to ignore it, to lose herself in him again, but inevitably her head turned, seeking the source of the interruption. When she turned back to him, he was simply standing, watching her. She looked into his eyes, knowing. And waiting. 

She opened her eyes, unaware of the tears that had soaked her pillow. She turned off the alarm and lay on her back, staring at the ceiling. _I'll be waiting forever._


	2. What Lingers Here: Part Two

**Author's Note:**

I hadn't planned to do any more with this story, but I got a request for a series. So, Torny, this is for you...part two. Hope you like it! :) This one gets a higher rating (R, for sexual themes), and is slightly more angsty than the first one, though not much. 

**Disclaimer:**

Once again, they ain't mine. I didn't invent a single character in the Harry Potter books...doesn't that suck? ;) They all belong to the goddess that is J.K. Rowling. 

**Archiving:**

Please don't. Ask me nicely, though, and I might say yes. You may, of course, link to this story at ff.net. **What Lingers Here**  
***Part Two***  
**By Aezara**

She could feel him watching her. She knew those eyes better than she knew her own, and she didn't need to turn around to know that they were tracking every movement she made. 

_This was a mistake...oh, god...what was I thinking??_

She had asked to do a bit of extra-credit work, strictly in the interest of furthering her knowledge of Potions. Right. She doubted that she could be more obvious if she threw herself at his feet. And now she was trapped, stuck here in this classroom with a man that she had loved for half a decade, and she could scarcely remember how to breathe, let alone brew the complicated potion he had assigned her. 

_My hands are shaking, he has to see that...I have to get back in control._

She took a deep, steadying breath, and was relieved to find that it worked, at least to a degree. Her heart rate had slowed to an acceptable rate...or if not acceptable, the best that could be expected, given that she was alone in a room with the most amazing, incredible... 

"Is everything ok?" The concern in his voice was so genuine, she could almost allow herself to believe..._NO. I am not going to do this to myself._

"Umm...actually, I guess I could use some help. If I'm reading your instructions right, it looks as though I'm supposed to be preparing about six ingredients at the same time, or this won't come out right." 

He smiled. "I wondered how long it would take you to realize that this is not a potion that one can tackle alone." She looked at him, puzzled, and he smiled again...a genuinely kind smile that no one would believe actually passed his face had she wanted to tell anyone about it. "I thought it might be...fun...if we worked together on this one." 

Her heart started racing again, and she could barely choke out a reply. "I'd like that." 

He looked at her for a long moment, then moved slowly to stand beside her at the table. 

"You start with the dragon scales. Once they have been powdered, they can sit while we prepare the other components." He stood to the side, but still fairly close, while she crushed the scales. By the time she had reduced them to a fine powder, her nerves were stretched to such a point that she thought she would shatter. She looked up at him, and he nodded. 

"Perfect. Now you shred the Mandrake, and I'll start mixing the Basilisk blood with the Manticore spines. We'll need to finish at about the same time, because the Mandrake needs to begin to steep almost immediately. Ok so far?" 

She nodded once, finally feeling a bit more at ease. She bent her head to the task, not noticing that instead of beginning his work, he was watching her. She jumped when his hand covered hers, stopping its movement. She glanced up, a question on her lips, but he silenced her with the slightest shake of his head. 

"Like this." His hand remained upon hers, as though to guide it in the proper way to slice the Mandrake roots. It didn't move, however, and his eyes didn't drop to the worktable; rather, he continued to look at her. _As though he was waiting for something,_ she thought feverishly. 

"Sir...I..." She had no idea what she was about to say, but she knew it was probably going to be something she would regret. Without warning, though, he cut her off, covering her lips with his own. Caught off guard, she stumbled backward, breaking the kiss. He looked mortified, and she realized that her reflexive action had sent him a very wrong message. 

She recovered quickly, and moved back toward him, moved into his arms, and kissed him back. This time there was no break, no breath, no pause in the fire that was spreading through her body, threatening to burn her alive. She was aware, faintly, that her hands were moving over him in a way that she had never even allowed herself to imagine, and that he was responding in kind. His fingers brushed through her hair, across her shoulders, down her back... 

She moaned softly into his mouth, realizing for the first time how much she needed him. She had loved him, wanted him, but not until this moment had she known that without him, her heart might actually stop. She wanted more of him, all of him. His bare skin, his heart, his very soul. 

"I love you, Hermione," he whispered. "I need you..." 

Her breathing grew steadily more erratic as his hands moved over her body, setting her ablaze with every touch. She was being consumed by her desire; she felt as though she was drowning in him. 

"Severus..." she breathed. 

And suddenly realized that she was holding nothing more than air. This time there had been no alarm to wake her, no interruption. Just reality pouring over her like a sudden, freezing rainstorm. She closed her eyes again, trying to hold on to the dream, but it was like trying to catch a snowflake. 

She opened her eyes to the sun pouring through her window, and tried to pretend that it was only the glare that was causing the tears to course down her face. _No use._ She gave up and rolled over, letting the pillow muffle the sound of her sobs. 


	3. What Lingers Here: Part Three

**Author's Notes:**

Ok, here it is. The final chapter in this three-part series. For those of you that requested the continuance of the original story: Thank you! Although I never planned for this to be a series, I have to admit that I thoroughly enjoyed writing the second two parts. I hope you like the completed version! :) Oh, a note...this chapter is back to being rated PG, but because of the second chapter, I'm going to keep the overall R rating. 

**Disclaimer:**

Yet again...not mine, never were. All characters were borrowed from the great and wise J.K. Rowling. 

**Archiving:**

As always, feel free to link to this story at ff.net. But please don't post it anywhere else without asking me first. **What Lingers Here**  
***Part 3***  
**By Aezara**

She sat in his office, sweaty palms pressed tightly together to hide the shaking of her hands. She knew that she was possibly in very grave trouble, and realized how stupid she had been. _I am such an idiot,_ she thought. 

As Head Girl, she was supposed to **stop** these things, not help contribute to them. Unfortunately, her memories of the previous night were...rather vague, and quite distorted. _**This** is why I don't drink,_ she reprimanded herself savagely. _Or at least, I didn't until last night..._

Harry and Ron, in the spirit of the culmination of all their "exploits" while at Hogwarts, had decided to throw a party. It was the end of their final year, exams were behind them, and they had only the graduation ceremony standing between them and the rest of their lives. What better way to celebrate than to get the entire 7th year student body royally drunk? 

She groaned inwardly. _What on earth could have made me decide to even allow that party, much less attend it??_

She waited, shaking, for him to finish grading the last of his 3rd year exam parchments. Finally, he laid down his quill and looked up at her. 

"Well?" He looked at her, obviously waiting for an explanation. 

She looked at the floor. "Sir, I don't know quite what to say. I take full responsibility for what happened last night. I honestly cannot believe that I was involved...it's not at all like me...I don't..." She could not continue. 

He regarded her silently for a moment before speaking in his usual measured tone. "No, Miss Granger, it is not at **all** like you, which is why I've called you here. I can certainly understand the behavior of your classmates, and especially that of your...friends, who I am told were the instigators. The party itself doesn't bother me." He paused, then amended his statement. "Rather, it doesn't bother me that there **was** a party, though I must admit I am disappointed in all of you for behaving like common Muggles in a pub." 

She continued to keep her eyes downcast, but attempted a stuttering response. "Yes sir...you are absolutely right...it was probably the stupidest thing we have ever done...even Harry and Ron..." A sound startled her into looking up; he was actually chuckling softly. 

"Mr. Potter and Mr. Weasely have indeed outdone themselves this time." He waited for her reaction; receiving none, he continued. "Not that I am surprised...I expected something along these lines, to be frank." He glanced at her again, noting the astonishment on her face. "Miss Granger, you can't honestly believe that this is the first time this has happened. A class as...spirited as yours doesn't come along often, but we **do** get them every few years." He looked at her levelly for several seconds before resuming his speech. "My only real shock was finding that you were involved." 

She started to speak, to attempt to explain herself, make excuse, anything...although she had no idea what she could possibly say to make the situation any less reprehensible. He stopped her with a wave of his hand. 

"Miss Granger, you are not in trouble. And to put you further at ease, neither are any of your classmates." He smiled slightly. "Not even Harry and Ron." 

"Then why..." 

"Why have I summoned you to my office, if not to admonish you?" She nodded weakly. "Because, Miss Granger, I am concerned." His voice lowered, but instead of his usual sarcasm, it was laced with gentleness. "Hermione, I repeat, this is not at all like you. I simply want to know why. Nothing more." 

"Sir...I wish I knew, but I don't." Except that she did. But she couldn't possibly tell him... Suddenly, it hit her that it was time to give up. She had been keeping this secret for five years, and she was sick of it. What could possibly be the harm in finally letting go? In a week she would be leaving, and none of this would matter anymore. She wouldn't have to face him; she could avoid him for a week, and then she'd never see him again. And she realized for the first time the incredible toll that her silence had taken on her. 

She realized that he was eyeing her curiously, and flushed slightly. "Actually, sir, I do know. I just don't...I don't quite know how to say it." 

"Hermione, over the course of your years here, we have discussed many things. I doubt seriously that anything you might say now could shock me." His tone was sincere. "Please. Tell me what it is." 

She looked at him, utterly terrified, but knowing that it was now or never, and that there was really no turning back at this point. 

"Professor Snape, it's you." She tried to speak calmly, but her voice shook uncontrollably, in perfect time with the tremors that were running through her body. "I...I'm..." She took a deep breath and tried again, and this time her words came out like water from a breaking dam. "I am in love with you. I have been for...a long time. I've never told anyone, and I honestly thought that if I could just keep it inside me until I left Hogwarts, I'd be ok. But I won't. It's killing me. And you don't have to say anything, because I know how ridiculous this is, and I'll never see you again after next week anyway." She stopped, breathless, and glanced at him briefly before turning her head to the window, praying that he wouldn't see the tears in her eyes. She sensed him watching her, but he didn't speak. She felt as though her heart was actually ripping apart. She really hoped that he **wouldn't** say anything; at this point she seriously thought she might break down completely if she had to hear what would be only an obligatory response. 

But he did speak, of course. She winced, bracing for the piteous reply that she knew was coming. 

"Hermione," he said gently, "What took you so long?" 

Against her will, she raised her eyes to him, and was floored by the look on his face. It was...tender...loving. 

She stood abruptly, knocking her chair over in the process. _No. I am not going to let myself go through this again._ She spoke aloud, "No! I can't do this anymore. This is not reality. You are an apparition. I am **not** going to wake up crying over this dream anymore!" She stopped, not realizing that tears were already streaming down her face. 

He came around the desk and stood facing her. "Hermione...please calm down." 

The look of concern on his face infuriated her even more. "Stop! For the love of god, whoever is doing this to me, stop! I can't take any more of this!" She burst into sobs, collapsing backward. 

The arms that she fell into went around her, and she cried out in anguish. "Severus!..." It was time; she could feel it. This was where it always ended. She fell silent, awaiting the inevitable. 

He turned her to face him and gently cupped her face in his hands. He bowed his head, touching his forehead to hers. "Hermione..." he whispered. "I'm here. I really am." He pulled her close to him and kissed her softly. 

She pulled back and looked into his eyes. She slowly raised her hand to touch his face. It was as damp as her own, and warm with life. 

And real. Finis. 


End file.
